Give me a reason
by LittleMonkeyPo
Summary: When someone from Kensi's past is back, she realizes how much she loves her partner. [ Beware, this is an happy one-shot. And I'm French.]


___To my partner, my only male friend in his brutal world. Always. _

* * *

_« Right from the start_

_You were a thief_

_You stole my heart_

_And I your willing victim_

_I let you see the parts of me_

_That weren't all that pretty_

_And with every touch you fixed them_ »

_- Just give me a reason -_

_Pink & Nate Ruess_

* * *

« Deeks, I know you're here. » she said knocking on the door harder than the previous time « Deeks. Open the damn door. »

It was ten pm, and she was tired. Her day was everything except was she thought it would be, she wanted to crawl in her boyfriend's bed and sleep.

« Deeks, come on ! Don't make me open it myself. Deeks ! »

Monty started barking, just behind the door, and she yelled her partner's name another time before picking the lock. She opened the door, and immediately spotted Deeks, lying on the couch, few bottles of beer empty on the coffee table.

« Deeks. »

« Blye. » he answered angrily

« I am so sorry...»

He took the tv remote from his belly and increased the volume of the television, trying not to watch her. She called his name again, softly and tenderly, but he didn't look up.

That's when she saw it, the kitchen's table with the tablecloth, the candles, the flowers, the bottle of wine. He was wearing a nice shirt, the tie was on the floor with his jacket. She had forgotten, she didn't mean to, but she had.

« Marty, I am sorry, I swear. »

« Leave me alone. »

« Please, don't...I just...»

« Forgot ? » he snapped « Get the hell out of my apartment. »

« Deeks. »

« Get. Out. »

* * *

**19 hours earlier.**

Three months. They were celebrating their three months anniversary, and he couldn't be happier. He woke up with her, snuggled into his side, her hair on his chest, her mouth open on his skin. He loved waking up to see their bodies tangled, she was his own sun in the bedroom, and he was glad to be the first person she saw every morning.

It has been three months since they kissed for the second time, three months since he had been tortured, three months since she told him he had to keep his promise. They were a couple for less than that, but he didn't care, he wanted to celebrate this day. Three months, a quarter of a year of us.

He was happy.

« Hello sunshine.» he said, putting the tray on the bed « Slept well ? »

« Maybe, if you stop stealing the sheet, I'll sleep correctly one day. »

She looked at the breakfast, two cups of coffee, toasts with butter and marmalade, and a single rose. He was smiling, and it took her half a second to understand why he looked so happy.

« Happy anniversary Fern. »

She wasn't great with birthdays, or anniversaries, she didn't like dates, she was always wrong, and she thought it was important. Every days actions were more important than a big present one time in the year.

« Thank you Deeks. I... »

« You don't have to say anything, I know you don't like...that, but I wanted to do something nice. Three months, it's big, right ? »

« It is. » she answered « Come here, and kiss me. »

* * *

They were late for work, Sam and Callen were already briefed when they got in, Kensi had arrived a few minutes before Deeks, but both of them still had wet hair. Sam laughed when Callen told them who was the victim, and where they had to go.

« I hope this is toothpaste on your shirt Kens'. »

« Oh my god. » she shouted « Deeks ! »

« What !» he laughed « And yes Sam, that's toothpaste. »

The Detective was still laughing when he got in the car, and in spite of his partner's threats, he didn't intend to stop. He could see that she was getting mad, but he didn't care. They were driving to the crime scene, the man, a twenty-four marine was killed on the beach the day before.

Kensi parked in front of the scene and asked Deeks to behave before getting out of the vehicle. He smiled, told her he was sorry and followed her. There were still several cops around that Deeks waved at.

« There was no witness, but there's a camera over there, he was running, and he just fell. A bullet, straight to the heart.» said the police officer

« Do you know where was the shot fired ? »

« No, but my guys are searching. »

« Okay, keep me in touch. »

He turned around to ask Kensi if she saw something, but she wasn't here. She was about ten meters away from the yellow tape, talking to a man. He thanked the police officer and went over his partner, she was turning her back to him, she didn't know he was coming over.

« So partner, you're letting me doing all the work ? »

She stopped talking and turned around, he noticed she was blushing, and it wasn't because of the sun. She was suddenly shy and vulnerable. The man she was talking to was taller than her, he had blue eyes and dark hair, Deeks immediately figured the man was a marine, or had been, because he was standing like one.

« This is Jack, he was a friend of Marcus Keller. » she said

« Oh, great maybe you'll be able to help...»

« And you are Kensi's partner ? You don't look like an Agent. »

« Excuse me ? »

« Deeks works for the LAPD, he's our liaison officer. »

« Oh, okay. » smiled Jack

« Wait. Jack as the-one-who-dumped-you-on-Christmas ? »

« Ah, yeah, that's me. »

« Great. I'm going to do my job, solve a murder, and not do whatever you are doing. »

He nodded to Jack and gave Kensi a reproachful look before going back to the murder scene. Kensi tried to follow him, but Jack's hand was on her shoulder.

« Now that you've established that I'm not a suspect, can I offer you a drink ?»

« I...»

« Please. »

« Maybe. »

« Tonight. Our bar. At...eight, you can't say no.»

* * *

The rest of the day passed by quickly, Deeks had found where the shooter was, there was evidence, and they arrested the killer, who didn't want to steal top-secret information, but just get rid of the marine who was sleeping with his mother.

Deeks acted like nothing had happened, while Kensi tried to justify herself. He was jealous, so jealous that he felt like he was going to implode, but he didn't want to screw the special evening he had made for them. He wanted to tell her to stop, that she didn't have to explain, but he couldn't.

A little after six, Kensi said she was going to the shooting range, Deeks took advantage of Kensi's departure to leave the work space and go home. He had a plan, and even if she didn't like surprises, she was going to love it.

When she got back half an hour later, Sam and Callen were leaving, talking about a beer and a basket-ball match. Sam asked if she wanted to join them, and she answered that she had plans. The former SEAL started to laugh, but his partner slapped him in the arm and he whined.

« Hey, where's Deeks ? »

« His neighbor called, something with Monty barking for hours. He said he was going to send you a text, didn't want to bother you while you were shooting at a paper head. Your boy is scared of something. »

« Told him I was going to shoot him this morning, when he was hysterically laughing. »

« That was funny. »

« Nope, wasn't. Good night guys. »

« Night Kens'.» they said, smirking

* * *

She pushed the door of the bar she and Jack used to spend evenings. She felt strange, to be here by herself to meet her ex-fiancee, she didn't feel like she was cheating, or anything, but it was a strange feeling. She elbowed several couples before spotting Jack, he was at the end of the counter, drinking a beer.

« I am glad you said yes. » said Jack when she sat in next to him « God, you're gorgeous. »

« I'm dressed like I was this morning.»

« Yeah, but you let your hair down, that's wild. I like it. »

« What do you want Jack ? » she asked

He smiled. That cocky smile she loved so much, the one she fell in love with, and then he took her hand in his, and she didn't move. She was suddenly scared of what could happen.

« Talk. »

« That's all, just talk ? » she retorted, taking her hand back

« Yes, we've known each other for so long, why can't we just talk ? »

« Because we can't. »

« This place is still the same, I come here every week since I got back, I like the atmosphere, it's fun. I wanted to talk to you, and I wanted to apologize. What I did, it was...wrong, but I had to. You were so perfect Kensi, I didn't deserve you, you were everything, you helped so much, but I wasn't enough. I just...needed to breathe on my own. »

« Really ? We were engaged and you just left ! »

« I did. »

« You never called. »

« I wanted to, but I thought it would be easier for us you know, I didn't want to hurt you. »

« You didn't want to hurt me ?! »

« More than I did, I didn't want to hurt you more than I did, I am sorry. I took the easier way out because I loved you and I wanted you to be happy with someone who would deserve you. »

« What changed ? » she asked, knowing that he had more to say

« I missed you. I spent four years in Texas, I needed to heal I think, it took time, one day I woke up and I realize something is missing. I tried to call, but you changed your number, I could reach you, so I came back, hoping that one day I'll get lucky. I never stopped loving you. »

« I am with someone. »

« Why are you here then ? »

« I don't know. »

The fact is, she knew why, she needed closure. She needed answers, she needed to feel how sorry he was and bury him into the ground. She wanted him to feel the pain.

« I think I know why, I think you missed me. I think you still love me because I know that look, I know you. »

« You don't know me, I am a different person than I was when you left. »

« You love me, and I love you. We can start again, right from the beginning, just you and I, in a place no one will find us, what do you think ? »

« No. »

« What ? Come on, think about it, we could be happy. »

« I stopped loving you a long time ago, maybe I still care, but there's nothing more than a deep feeling of compassion and pity. »

« Compassion and pity, you can do better than that. You're a smart girl, you can't just tell me that you feel sorry for me. »

« I am happy now, I met a great guy, he's funny and he cooks heavenly and he loves me. I know that I won't wake up alone. You may have ruined my life for...a long time, but you made me stronger, that's why I'm here, to tell you that I'm happy, and you have nothing to do with that. »

« You still love me Kensi. » he said, gripping her arm « You still love me. »

She got out of the bar as quickly as possible, trying to ignore Jack's voice asking her to come back, trying to forget his cocky smile, and how he was able to control her with a single look. She was stronger than ever because of everything she had been through. She almost got in Jack's game, out of habit, but she was stronger.

* * *

She went to her place and realized no one was here. Deeks wasn't on her couch eating a burger and watching a cheesy romantic comedy, because he was at his place, waiting for her. She checked her phone, saw the missed calls, and the text messages.

_Where are you ? _

_(...)_

_Called you two times, won't call you a third. _

_(...)_

_Don't bother, had to ask Eric, have fun. _

It was their three months anniversary, and not only she forgot it, but mostly, she went out with her ex-fiancee. When she left her apartment, she thought she couldn't feel more guilty, but when she saw him, almost passed out on his couch, his eyes red and puffy, she realized she was wrong.

« Get. Out. »

« No. »

« Kensi, please, don't make me get up. »

« Or what ? You're going to punch me in the face ? »

« Please. » he pleaded again

« I'm not leaving. »

She saw the tears on his cheeks, she tried to take his hand, but he quickly rose from the couch, and blew the candles. He went to his bedroom, and after a quick trip to the bathroom, told her she could take the bed. She stopped him, her hand on his bicep, tighter than she meant to, and sat him on the edge of the bed.

« I made a mistake, and I forgot our birthday. I am sorry. »

« Why ? »

« Since he left me, I've always wanted answers, I thought...maybe he was going to tell me, but I was wrong. I don't need that, I'm over him, I've been for a while. I made a mistake, and I don't know what to do about it because I am scared, I don't want to lose you. »

« You won't. »

« Please forgive me. »

« It took me two weeks to get everything for tonight you know, I asked your mom what was your favorite dish, I made a chocolate fondant, I bought you a present. Hetty even let me borrow the nicest suit she had. »

« I am sorry. » she said, kneeling in front of him « I am so sorry. »

« I know you are, but you just...ran away with Jack. »

« I had to talk with him, it made me realize something.»

« What ? »

« That I'm in love with you, and I can't live without you. I guess. »

« You guess ? »

« I know. »

She kissed him softly, trying to make him forget how sad he was less than ten minutes before.

« I love you too Fern. » he murmured against her lips « Do you want some chocolate fondant ? Oh and we have strawberries too...»

* * *

She woke up alone in his bed the next morning, and she knew he wasn't far. Even we she saw the scrap of paper on his pillow, she wasn't afraid, because he told her he loved her, he hadn't stopped, all night long.

_Nasty bruise on your arm, sugarbear. I'll meet you at work. Oh, and you know how much I like the white shirt...  
_

She wasn't sure if she was proud or upset, but she knew that if he came to work with a black eye, she was going to kiss him better.


End file.
